Driven to

NKASI

Like every other girl, she had her dreams. Though life was tough and unfair, she was determined to make a pass and get to a better one. Her father died after falling ill with an unknown ailment for a short period of time. A real short period. She didn't believe that the cause of the illness was unknown because her father never wanted to visit the hospital in their little community for fear of being talked about and her mother couldn't persuade further. Coupled with the fact that they were poor, it made it all easier for her father not to visit the community clinic. There came a time some medical students were in their community, giving free medical health care, but Nkasi wondered why her father would not use the opportunity. She didn't care really if her father wanted to go the clinic or not, afterall he didn't regard her and she also on the other hand, didn't care either. Being the only child and a girl, she was more of her mother's friend and was always scared of her father's rage either at her or her mother. He was easily angered and this made Nkasi cower at his presence. She remembered her father always blaming her mother that she wasn't fertile enough even after paying her father heavily a huge sum for a bride price.

Being married to his former wife, they couldn't bear children and it was big tussle everyday; arguments and constant fights. Ugara and his first wife Agama were young lovers and couldn't stay a day apart without each other. Agama then lived with her uncle and his family and despite her uncle's warnings that Ugara was no good for her, she kept on seeing him. All sighs of disapproval from people in the community and her uncle fell on deaf ears. They both spent time together and always met either at the village stream or during firewood fetching and their fondness grew even more and more. Agama's uncle threatened to stop paying her tuition if she continued seeing Ugara and for a short while she pretended to stop because she was interested in finishing her education. After a week or two, she dropped every promise made and started staying out late with him again. Her uncle got very mad and sent Agama back to her parents who came pleading and asking him to forgive that it was all youthful exuberence. Uncle Goddy only accepted to take her back if she would face her studies and then get married to Ugara after schooling. This she quickly agreed to and returned to her uncle's house. As usual she kept up till Ugara started accusing her of not loving him again. He always wrote her love notes and dropped it under the coconut tree infront of her uncle's house. When she tried to explain to him, he accused her even more and so she decided to prove him wrong. Jumping over the fence became like breathing the air as she would sneek out at night, climb over the low fence and jump over to stay with him. She cut herself a few times but was always consoled by Ugara who told her that true love always came with obstacles. The scales fell from Agama's eyes when she got pregnant while at school. She couldn't let her uncle see this and so something had to be done fast. Once she informed Ugara, he said it wasn't a problem and told her to conceal things till he made a few contacts.

Agama knew all was not well with her but kept pulling through. The so called doctor was not a good one. She just knew it that something just wasn't right. Days passed into months and months into years and 2 years later, she was through with her schooling and passed out. Meanwhile, Ugara was the first man who came knocking and seeking her hand in marriage. Uncle Goddy didn't hesitate at all because it had always been so planned and so Agama and Ugara got married. The following few years into the the marriage, it didn't seem all fun again when Ugara started making Agama unhappy with the constant pestering of not bearing him any children. She had a gut feeling she might not be able to but kept it to herself knowing she stood the chance of being sent packing if Ugara got to know the truth. The fights and arguments continued till the seventh year into the marriage when Agama couldn't stand the pain and injustice being dished to her by Ugara. She spilled out the truth not caring again and was ready to move out and on. She had more peace without Ugara and decided to spend the rest of her life resolute. Ugara acted surprised though deep inside he wasn't and knew they stood a chance of being barren while being married. He felt guilty but always used pride to cover any guilt he felt. She should have been wise enough then and kept the baby but she placed her education above having the baby, he thought. Not quite long after the seperation, Ugara took in Nkasi's mother Ezigbo as wife. People recommended Ezigbo because she had a large family and they believed it was a trend in her family of their daughters bearing both male and female children. The first year into the marriage produced Nkasi and that remained till date. Ezigbo tried so much to conceive more children but all fell furtile. Nkasi remembered all these and saw her father as a frustrated man. She always avoided him and only spoke to him when thanking him after a meal or greeting him in the morning. His anger raved like a wild fire and Ezigbo avoided anything that would get him mad. There was a particular day when Ugara just returned from the farm and on getting home, was told that dinner was almost ready. Being very hungry, he stomped off and started screaming at Ezigbo and his daughter with rolled fists while kicking the boiling food pot and spilling it's content on himself. He got burned and raged even more like an angry bull. Ezigbo after the incident made sure dinner was always ready for him on arrival.

Agama, lived a very quiet life after the seperation from her last husband Ugara. Nothing seemed to go well with her and she was so unhappy. An argument ensued amongst them in their age clan meeting and when Agama tried making a comment, one of the ladies shut her up calling her a barren pig. It was the last straw for Agama. She had had enough of all the insults from villagers and wasn't going to take any more from anyone. Her life was already in distress with her family, friends and community abandoning her when they got to know what had happened in her earlier life. Nothing was a secret anymore and men didn't regard her as anything. She went over to the woman in their group and gave her a resounding slap on the face saying,

"I have taken enough from the communtiy and won't have it again," and with a horror stricken face, the lady fled the meeting in shame while Agama went on "the next time I hear anyone call my name in sheer disgust, then we'll see who is who" while stomping out in anger. From that day, she gained a little more respect from the community and had the people gossiping behind her rather than heaping insults right to her face.

Once, a man came into her life and she was quite excited about him. He was from the neighbouring town and thought she was beauitful. She liked him too and tried as ...

Ate ja.